I’ve realized, or observed, lately quite a bit how I try to fill the holes in my life with unnecessary things. I try to fill voids with material things, as if they will make me somehow more whole or give me a feeling of contentedness. I can’t help but wonder if these feelings are actually realistic and of my own mind or somehow a way that visual media has implanted a need for being a consumer in me.

When things are going wrong or something is subconsciously extracting the appeasement out through my toes, I start feeling like I need things. Lately it was a desire, superficial at best, to purchase the Macbook I’ve been leering over for some time now. My HP Pavilion has been having spyware problems (Vundo virus, to be more exact) and instead of looking further into it and removing it myself, I began to have the notion that I should pitch it and just buy the Macbook. I combated the feeling for at least two weeks. Yesterday I fixed the Vundo virus and subsequently updated my system. Was that so hard? No, it took me a matter of almost an hour. And it didn’t cost me approx. $1300.

When did we begin to feel we can fill voids with materialism?
Is it actually a learned behavior due to today’s society, or is it more primal than that?

I don’t need money to be happy.
I just need it to be warmer then -5 (as it was today here in Flint, MI) so I can longboard.